Thirty three years ago today, a man entered a mechanical engineering classroom at Montreal’s Ecole Polytechnique and killed 14 women because of their gender. This horrific event rocked Canada.

Thirty three years today my husband had a liver transplant. I spent the day and night in a waiting room in University Hospital, London, Ontario, waiting for word on the surgery outcome. I was able to pop into the ICU the next morning to see Jim breathing yet still “sleeping” under the effects of anesthesia. With good prognosis from his surgeon I headed home to see our children and get some sleep. During the hour drive home I kept hearing alarming reports on the radio centered around some demented soul shooting women because he was “fighting feminism”. What on earth was going on? By the time I got home I had pieced the story together and remember sitting in the car for a bit crying that so many young women had died.

Then I went on about my life centered on getting kids to school, visiting the hospital and encouraging my husband to beat the hospital transplant release record. (He did it!) While the shooting event continued to be in the news, it was very much in the background of my life.

Thinking about this today, I understand my tunnel vision and self focus. It also reminds me we are not alone in this world and how, particularly now, as an up and coming Elder, I have a responsibility to speak out against injustice. By remembering and relating tales of misogyny, weapons abuse and other incomprehensible behaviours my own little world can make more sense. I can hold up the need to remember, and to demonstrate compassion and generosity to others.

Many of us in the retirement community have the time, wherewithal and wisdom to speak out and influence others. Our impact may be small, but we can lead by example.

So, I will always link these two events together. Both significant to me and highlighting the importance of sharing in community.  The world community grieving for these young women, confused by horrific actions of one man. My hometown community who rallied around me and my family to support us through our own confusing time. We had a happy outcome. Other families, and the world these women were headed into, suffered a huge loss.

Peace be with them.